So, it seems Donald Trump is the new president of the United States? Those of us who had access to only subsistence TV know very little about the man, but it seems he was a reality TV star with his very own show called The Apprentice or some such? Tagline ‘you’re fired!’.
I gather he s down on immigrants, unless he is married to them, and boasts a string of Eastern European ex-wives. He dated a beauty called Marla Marple once but being a Mom and Apple Pie sort she really wan’t marriage material. There’s a rumour that Trump – scion of the Drumpf family and aka The Donald – is a womanising, sexist misogynist, but they always say that about presidents, don’t they?
The Donald is best known for his appearance: the Drumpf genes have not been kind and the poor man has an orange complexion and nasty thin yellowish hair, which he wears in an unconvincing comb-over. But you have to applaud his courage.
The Drumpfs are one of the richest families in America and looking the way he does, who could blame Don if he had some ‘work’ done? But no, he glories in his ugliness. Just as Hillary Clinton glories in hers. Well matched opponents indeed – except The Donald knows how to spell Donald, while Hillary refuses to use the correct feminine version of her name, Hilary – fueling speculation she is really a man.
TV and wireless reception here in the Republic of Rosebank leaves a lot to be desired, so the cats and I are not sure what the issues are: Hillary wants pant suits for women to be mandatory in the work place and The Donald wants Mexico to build a wall?
Then there’s that business about Donny endorsing the Ku Klux Klan [is was it the other way round?] and a whole lot of CIA emails Hillary sent out by mistake? Well, which of us has not made an email stuff up at one time or another? An understandable error. As for the Ku Klux Klan, maybe he got confused?
It seems however that neither is ethically sound and if that Tina Few look-alike who could see Russia from her balcony in Alaska had decided to run as an independent, she would have been a shoo-in. Rather Sarah Palin for President than Donny or Hills.
Their personalities are bigger than their principles: Trump shouting the odds on Hispanics and Muslims, or Hillary trying to lie her way out of trouble, made for far better reading than a sober comparative account of their policies and how they would impact on South Africa and the world.
The good news for South Africa is that our own dear Number One [who is more of a Number Two, if you know what I mean] is no longer the biggest presidential disgrace in the world: possibly when the Don has finished in the US he might want to try his luck running here?
After all, he’s not white, and instead of having to divorce his wife when another Ukrainian honey catches his eye, he can just have two, or three, or ten wives. Plus we welcome criminals in parliament. No names [ AhemYengeniCough] but you know it’s true.
Some years ago, Jacob Zuma was dismissed from his post as vice president after a series of dodgy occurrences including a rape accusation and his bestie friend Shaik found guilty of enjoying a generally corrupt relationship with him: the press wrote off JZ as a spent force. But at the Polokwane Conference, Zuma was voted in as ANC president with an overwhelming majority, leading Thabo Mbeki, president of South Africa, to resign.
A year ago no-one here believed Trump would ever be president: most were amazed he had come as far as he had. He was regarded as a joke. Yesterday we believed Hillary was steaming ahead leaving Trump choking on her dust. Today, she is up the white water without a paddle.
Tomorrow? Anything could happen. One thing is certain, the old Chinese curse has come true with a vengeance and we live in interesting times.